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Yesterday, Today, Forever.

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militiamedic:

bootyisagirlsbestfriend:

"go the fuck away im not dealing w ur snake shit today"

… he just slapped a fucking cobra.

(Source: aposan, via briinasabrina)

musica-mundana:

sit-back-relax-relapse:

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT KIND OF MUSICAL NOTATION THIS IS

That’s a shark

(via briinasabrina)

(Source: dlma-me, via satan-senpaii)

bagmilk:

what kind of name is janice

(Source: chemtrailqueen, via yestrace)

ltalian:

that’s exactly what someone who’s dating their dad would say

(Source: real-tweets, via yestrace)

mcdolands:

Me: “dad am i adopted?”
Dad:no, ur David. why woud anyone name you ‘Adopted’? even if we wanted to, ur name was alredy David when we adopted you

(via yestrace)

kittiezandtittiez:

Dad’s adopted

(via yestrace)

latulas:

U WNANA FUKCINGN GO?? ????? grab an icecream together or something because u are attractive

(Source: toukos, via zirbellious)

notchicken:

punning should be an olympic sport please hear me ancient greek gods and make it so

(Source: ryanhigainspired, via itscrystall)

materiajunkie:

"Curing AIDS? Shit, that’s like Cadillac making a car that lasts for 50 years. And you know they can do it, but they ain’t going to do nothing that fucking dumb. Shit, they got metal on the Space Shuttle that can go around the Moon and withstand  temperatures of up to 20,000 degrees, you mean to tell me you don’t think they can make an El Dorado with a fuckin’ bumper that don’t fall off?"

- Chris Rock (“Bigger and Blacker”, 1999)

(via omgphantastic)